Surfacing

I am dark but He calls me lovely. Oh, the revelation I have gotten on this in the past 48 hours. Ignorance is not bliss. I thought this internship was going to be easy. I knew there were going to be some pretty difficult moments. I underestimated how much of me He wanted and overestimated how much of my heart I have given Him. I've presented myself time and time again to Him. I've laid down my life as a living sacrifice, or so I thought. Thrilled with the opportunity I was given to go deeper into the heart of God, I didn't think of the pain of circumcising my own. The ugly things...bitterness...judgement...unforgiveness...to name a few that have come to my attention actually caused me to become nauseous. He wants my whole heart. Until He has it all things will continue to surface. How He loves me so.....